The Bate Mates

Welcome!

The Bate Mates (TBM) — also known as San Diego Jacks (SDJ) —  is a men-only private social club in San Diego. We bring together men of any orientation — gay, bi, straight, or curious — who celebrate masturbation as a natural, safe, and healthy act.

We welcome down-to-earth, respectful men who value self-care (mind and body), respect others' boundaries, and are excited and/or curious to explore sexuality without judgment, ego, or pressure to perform.

Founded by forward-thinking friends, The Bate Mates' mission goes beyond simply enjoying male masturbation; it is also to embrace authentic masculinity—free from toxic standards—and help guys open their minds, drop old stigmas, form genuine bonds over shared interests, and discover a more sensorial, supportive, and deeply sensual experience. Our relaxed atmosphere gives members the freedom to get naked and let pleasure and connection just flow naturally. It’s a club built on good energy, mutual respect, and sensual exploration. Here, we lift each other up—encouraging men to feel good in their own skin, take pride in who they are, and celebrate the community we are building together.

If you’re looking for sexual activities beyond masturbation, this is not the right club for you. Likewise, if you show up with an arrogant, unfriendly, or pushy attitude, you won’t be a fit here. 

As a member of The Bate Mates, you are expected to honor our Code Of Conduct, especially about respecting boundaries, consent, and one another’s comfort at all times—and we hold each other accountable to that. These guidelines are in place to ensure a safe, supportive, and enjoyable environment for everyone. By following our rules, you help preserve the integrity of the club and the experience of every fellow Bate Mate. 

Any behavior that violates our code, compromising the comfort, safety, health, or trust of others won’t be tolerated.

We are here to connect, not to cross lines. 

As we launch, membership is by invitation and approval only. Every member is screened to maintain a high-vibe space where everyone can feel comfortable, enjoy each other’s company, and help preserve our tight-knit brotherhood, both in and out of events.

We reserve the right to refuse or revoke access at our sole discretion to ensure that the club meetups and interactions remain safe, drama-free, healthy, chill, respectful, and compliant with all applicable laws. Reasons for approval, denial, suspension, or removal are considered confidential and will not be disclosed.

Hosting our events takes real time, effort, and funding—from rent and supplies to amenities and promotion. To help cover these costs, we ask for a contribution to attend our meetups. Any additional donation is greatly appreciated and helps establish and maintain the club, as well as support future events.

As The Bate Mates continues to grow, we aim to strengthen our network, create lasting friendships, and host gatherings that embody what we stand for: pleasure, sexual exploration, safe fun, community, trust, inclusion, exploration, and genuine masculine connection — welcoming both cis and trans-masculine individuals.

Thanks for visiting our website.

Quick Links

Next events dates?  Clique here.
Interested in joining for the first time?  Use the Apply Here form.
Want to know what happens at the meetups?  Check our FAQs section.
Want to contact us?  Use the Contact form.