The Bate Mates

The Bate Mates is a new, men-only private social club in San Diego, bringing together open-minded masculine guys of any orientation — gay, bi, straight, or curious — who celebrate masturbation as a natural, safe, and healthy act, and who value a healthy lifestyle, self-care, confidence, connection, and mutual respect and encouragement.

Founded by forward-thinking friends, The Bate Mates was built to offer a safe and welcoming space where men can masturbate (solo or mutual), explore sexuality and pleasure together without judgment, get connected, share interests, embrace authentic masculinity, and form genuine bonds in a relaxed, enjoyable, and friendly atmosphere.

If you’re looking for sexual activities beyond masturbation, this is not the right club for you. Likewise, if you show up with an arrogant, unfriendly, or pushy attitude, you won’t be a fit here. 

Our gatherings are all about good energy, exploration and experimentation, sensuality, sexuality, building confidence, politeness, feeling good about yourself, and helping other members feel the same way — encouraging them to take pride in themselves and in the community they are helping to build.

As a member of The Bate Mates, you are expected to honor and uphold our Code Of Conduct, follow our community standards, and respect boundaries, consent, and one another’s comfort at all times — and we hold each other accountable to that. These guidelines are in place to ensure a safe, supportive, and enjoyable environment for everyone. By following our rules, you help preserve the integrity of the club and the experience of every fellow Bate Mate. 

Any behavior that violates our code, compromising the comfort, safety, health, or trust of others won’t be tolerated.

We are here to connect, not to cross lines. 

Membership is by invitation and approval only. Every member is screened to maintain a positive environment where everyone can feel comfortable, enjoy each other’s company, have a blast, and help preserve our strong sense of community, both in and out of events.

We reserve the right to refuse or revoke access at our sole discretion to ensure that the club meetups and interactions remain safe, drama-free, healthy, chill, respectful, and compliant with all applicable laws. Reasons for approval, denial, suspension, or removal are considered confidential and will not be disclosed.

Organizing events takes time, effort, and money — rent, supplies, amenities, and other expenses add up. To help cover these costs, we ask for a contribution to attend our meetups. Any additional donation is greatly appreciated and helps establish and maintain the club, as well as support future events.

As The Bate Mates continues to grow quickly, we aim to strengthen our network, create lasting friendships, and host gatherings that embody what we stand for: pleasure, sexual exploration, safe fun, community, trust, inclusion, exploration, and genuine masculine connection — welcoming both cis and trans-masculine individuals.

Thanks for being here.