Code Of Conduct

Our Rules

At The Bate Mates, all members must adhere to these guidelines at all times. Attending any event or meetup means you agree to the terms of this code.
*Last Update Jan 26, 2026

1. Accessing The Events

• Must be adult men over the age of 18, either cisgender or trans-masculine. This club is not for individuals who identify as women.

• By attending, members confirm they are coming voluntarily to a private space for male socializing and intimate nude recreation, and acknowledge that nudity and/or masturbation occur among participants of their own free will.

• All interactions are consensual and not conducted for sexual services. The environment, amenities, and meetups are provided  to allow members to connect and engage with each other, but sexual acts are not facilitated or offered.

• Contributions are required and help cover the costs of hosting events and keeping the club running. This includes venue or space rental, amenities, supplies, cleaning, laundry, transportation, online services, and more. They also support the time and effort needed to organize events and welcome new members, helping foster a private, safe, and fun atmosphere. Running the club is an ongoing commitment to providing the best experience for all attendees.

• Put your cellphone away. No filming, recording, pictures of any kind at any moment. Only Team members are allowed to use their phones or laptops to conduct the event. Official photos may be taken with the consent of everyone involved. 

• No firearms or any kind of object, shoes, clothes, or hats that could pose a risk to others.

• No smoking: cigarettes, weed, or any other substances. Vapes only outdoors, please. 

• To preserve health and safety, no masturbation toys, sleeves, fleshlights, extenders, or similar items are permitted. Cock rings or ball stretchers are totally ok.

• No uninvited guests allowed. Respect the Circle, the Club, and the Host. All participants must be curated before attending, as this is a private, invite-only club event, not open to the public.

• No sex work, solicitation, prostitution - whether explicit or implied. This is not part of our culture, mission, or community.

• Events Late Arrival and Non-Attendance Policy – Members arriving after the designated entry window may be denied access, and any required contributions will not be refunded. The same applies to no-shows.

2. Actions, Respect, and Consent

• Always ask for permission before engaging in any touch or interaction. A light gesture or a polite ‘May I?’ is all that’s needed to approach someone respectfully.

• Explicit consent is mandatory and can be revoked at any time.

• Respond politely, such as with a "Yeah, man" with a nod, or "No, thanks" with a smile.

• Don’t act like a jerk! This is the only 'jerk' move we don’t want here!

• 'No' means No. 'Maybe' always means No.

• Never push, pressure, or intimidate anyone about your preferences or timing to cum.

• Never repeatedly or persistently follow members to initiate any activity; respect their body language and do not make others uncomfortable.

• No anal contact is allowed under any circumstances, including playing with your own butthole. We are a private social club focused on Circle Jerk sessions and naked hangouts.

• We discourage oral interactions due to health concerns. Only moderated oral play is ok. Anal play is always prohibit. Other interactions such as Kissing, Nips Nibbling, Armpit Licking, are allowed and encouraged.

• Any form of penetration contact, including fingering and rimming, is not allowed. This applies to all attendees regardless of anatomy. 

• Semen on anyone's anus or swallowing it is expressly forbidden.

• Minimize talking during sessions in the play area. Quiet chat is fine, but avoid interrupting or distracting others.

• Use your words to give a clear verbal warning before ejaculating — Don't just rely on heavy breathing.

• Communicate your needs, desires, and boundaries clearly and respectfully. Also, honor the boundaries and comfort zones of others.

• Flirting is highly encouraged, as long as it’s respectful and consensual. Smiling and checking in with your bros to make sure they’re having fun is a good vibe.

REMEMBER, YOU MUST ALWAYS:

• Read body language. Do not initiate interactions if someone is not responsive or making eye contact.

• Disengage if someone is not interested. It’s obvious - do not act like you don’t notice.

• Do not pretend not to know or intentionally test boundaries. The group will notice and address it.

• Do not touch anyone without clear, explicit consent, especially from behind.

• Do not follow anyone who moves away or walks away.

• Do not interrupt someone else’s experience just because you want to participate.

• Report any concerns or behavior to the team ASAP. We are building a solid group where everyone has the right to enjoy themselves free from disturbance, annoyance, or disrespect.

3. Illness, Cleanliness, and Hygiene

• Members must be free of any disease or condition that could pose a health risk to others, such as rashes, sores, fever, cough, respiratory infections, sniffles, staph infections, herpes outbreaks, or any other symptoms that could indicate illness. Never attend a meetup if you are not feeling well.

• All members must present themselves healthy, clean, and with the best hygiene practices, including:

  • Body clean: Keep your body fresh and odor-free. Skip strong fragrances or colognes, and never carry smoke scents.

  • Hands clean: Keep fingernails trimmed, polished, and smooth.

  • Teeth brushed: Bad breath is a bone killer. We might provide mouthwash on the events; however, members should do their part beforehand. Using gum/mints can help to remain fresh.

  • Start each event with a trip to the washroom to wash hands and use mouthwash, regardless of whether you feel it’s necessary. 

• Clean up after themselves (e.g., spills, semen, lube, or if you missed the toilet for example).

• Take care of the environment keeping greasy hands off the walls, furniture, equipment, curtains, storage areas, etc.

• Members must maintain cleanliness, both during and after events. Help us keeping our spaces tidy. Trash cans are always available for disposing of wipes, tissues, empty bottles, and all other trash. 

• Leave washrooms spotless. Always clean up spills or splatters. Inform a Team Member if anything needs attention or lacks essentials.

4. Safety, Welcoming, and Inclusive Space

• Every member has the right to feel safe, heard, and respected. Discrimination, harassment, and exclusion based on race, origin, orientation, body type, or any other characteristic will not be tolerated.

• We actively promote inclusivity and celebrate the diverse expressions of masculinity and sexuality.

• Leave your ego out of the game play.

5. Accountability and Community Standards

• If you see someone acting inappropriately or making others uncomfortable, speak up. Our community is strong because we hold each other accountable.

• Behavior that violates the safety, comfort, or trust of others will result in immediate action, including warnings or removal from the club.

• Any form of abuse — whether verbal, emotional, or physical — will not be tolerated.

6. Confidentiality, Privacy, Anonymity, and Trust

What happens at The Bate Mates stays at The Bate Mates.

• Members must never disclose the identity or personal information of any member or guest to anyone outside the club.

• What happens or is shared in the club must be kept strictly confidential and may not be disclosed either.

• It is strictly prohibited to reveal or share the location of any club events, meetups, or activities with outsiders. 

• Members must respect each other’s personal journeys and everyone’s experiences.

7. Zero Tolerance for Drugs, Intoxication, Soliciting, or Suspicious Behavior

There is zero tolerance for drugs of any kind, intoxication, sexual services, or any suspicious behavior.

• Members must comply with all applicable laws; any illegal behavior will be reported to authorities.

• Members showing signs of intoxication or under the influence of any substance will not be allowed to join the session.

• Such members will receive an immediate warning, and depending on the severity, may be subject to a ban from future events.

• Members found in violation of this policy will not be eligible for any refunds if a contribution was previously collected for the event.

• No Alcohol or Liquor of any kind is allowed, unless it’s a special event where 'BYOB' (Bring Your Own Booze) is clearly mentioned ahead of time.

* Reason for this policy: Intoxication or drug use compromises the environment and the integrity of our space and vibe.

8. Healthy Lifestyle, Self-Care, and Mutual Support

We value a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally.

• Know your status. Get tested regularly and never put another man’s health at risk.  

• Stay active, maintain good physical health and hygiene, and practice self-care.

• Take care of your mind: build emotional intelligence, stay open to growth, and speak up when you need support.

• Support each other’s journey toward self-improvement, exploration and well-being.

• Uplift each other and foster a supportive atmosphere, either in the events or outside of them.

• Share experiences and advice that encourage growth, connection, and confidence.

9. No Tolerance for Gossip or False Narratives

• Members must not initiate, repeat, or circulate unverified information, personal attacks, or invented stories about other members that could harm their reputation.

• Concerns should be handled directly with the person involved or reported to club leadership.

• Deliberate attempts to damage a member’s reputation through lies, gossip, rumor-mongering, embellished stories, or selective disclosure are a serious breach of community standards and may result in suspension or removal.

10. Respect for Neighbors and the Space

Members are expected to be discreet and to respect the neighbors and the space where the gathering is happening, whether it’s an event or a more casual hangout between members.

• Be considerate of the noise level and avoid disruptive behaviors inside or outside the space.

11. Priority for Active Members in Overbooked Events

• For events where space may be limited and more members want to attend than available spots, members who are more active in the club will have priority for attendance. This helps us ensure that those who are most engaged with the community get the first opportunity to participate when space is tight.

12. Enjoy the Experience

• Let go and enjoy yourself, while allowing others to do the same.

• Always remember that this space is for you to grow, relax, and explore in a supportive, chill, no-pressure environment.

If you have any questions or concerns about the Community Code of Conduct, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a member of our leadership team or use the Contact form on our website www.thebatemates.com

* Last update includes:

Behavior: We want everyone to have an amazing time. Inappropriate behavior is not welcome. Playing dumb, making excuses, or knowingly crossing boundaries or testing limits will result in being asked to leave and may lead to a ban from future events. Never push, pressure, or intimidate; never persistently follow members to initiate activity — being a jerk makes others uncomfortable.
Contributions: Clarified as required, with no refunds for late arrivals or no-shows.
Health & Safety: Reinforcing that anal contact or any penetrative contact is strictly forbidden and applies to everyone regardless of anatomy (cis or trans); No smoking allowed.
Illness: Making it clear: Never attend a meetup if you are not feeling well.
Hygiene: Highlighting "Cleaning after yourself" and "Best hygiene practices".