FAQs

The Bate Mates is a new private, invite-only social club only for men in San Diego, bringing together open-minded masculine guys of any orientation — gay, bi, straight, or curious — who celebrate masturbation as a natural, safe, and healthy act, and who value an active and healthy lifestyle, self-care, confidence, connection, and mutual respect and encouragement.

We focus on building a safe space for men who express masculine energy and value mutual respect, discretion, and positive energy. We welcome men of any orientation and from all racial and cultural backgrounds.

Our club is curated for men of diverse masculine styles and personalities — from jocks and sporty guys to lean and geeky types, muscle builds, clean-cut looks, and otter-style ruggedness. To align with the current group dynamic and the preferences of our regular attendees, we look for men who maintain an active lifestyle, including but not limited to those who present physiques ranging from lean and athletic to naturally fuller, solid, dad-bod builds. The goal is compatibility and a positive shared experience.

We value men who are emotionally mature, socially intuitive, and respectful — those who can read the room, honor boundaries, and communicate clearly without needing reminders. Certain activities are restricted to maintain a comfortable environment and overall group safety. 

To keep a balanced and enjoyable experience for our current attendees, all new applicants are asked to complete a short form. Each submission is reviewed to ensure a good fit with the group dynamic. Recent photos are required as part of the approval process, along with a few details about yourself. Use the Application link on our menu.

Each submission is reviewed for approval before attending any event. Access is limited to pre-approved guests only, and we reserve the right to deny entry at the door at our discretion to maintain the comfort, safety, and overall experience of the group.

This is a naked Circle Jerk meetup. Consent always comes first and can be revoked at any time.

All guests must be pre-approved before attending.
Participants are generally between 18 and 55 years old.

Show up clean: wash your hands, rinse your mouth, and step into the play area ready to go. 

The focus is on masculine bonding, self or mutual play, and edging in a relaxed, social atmosphere. Side play is welcome, with oral kept moderated to help ensure everyone’s comfort, safety, and a smooth group flow. Watching without participating is also perfectly fine. All interactions are consensual, and we always keep in mind that respect for boundaries is mandatory at all times.

Group flow
Guests naturally interact and often rotate between small groups, helping keep the experience social and inclusive. Recent meetups have welcomed 30+ or 50+ men, which is why events are held in a discreet private rental space to better accommodate everyone.

Amenities provided
Lube, towels, paper tissues, wipes, water, mouthwash, and light snacks are available at the location for everyone’s comfort.

Substances & safety
No drugs of any kind are allowed (poppers are the only exception). Certain activities are restricted to maintain a safe and respectful environment. Reading and acknowledging our Code of Conduct is required prior to participation. 

Contribution
A contribution is requested to help cover costs, including support the continuation of future events.